


destroy the veneer that surrounds you

by Sway



Series: savour [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: BDSM, Caning, D/s, Dom!Merlin, Dom/sub, M/M, Spanking, Sub!Eggsy, Switch!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 21:36:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16542734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/pseuds/Sway
Summary: “What I mean to say is… you always tell me to talk to you about what I like and don’t like. And now you told me about something that you… like, if that’s the right word for it. But just because it’s something that I can’t… get into, shouldn’t keep you from having it. Merlin can give it to you, so you should have it.”Harry is on a guilt-trip after one of his agents is injured in the field. Eggsy tries to help him out of it but soon learns that Merlin might be the one with the cure.





	destroy the veneer that surrounds you

**Author's Note:**

> I know I say this with every new piece in the series but I have no idea what this it. I meant to write it for quite a while now but then it sort of got a life of its own and turned into an almost 10k piece... If that's a good or a bad thing, I'll let you be the judge of that. 
> 
> This is self-beta'd. If there are any glaring errors, let me know. 
> 
> The title is from "open your eyes" by Disturbed

It starts when Lamorak is put into an artificial coma after a botched mission. It hadn't been anyone's fault, really, just some chaos-theory type happenstance that had exploded a splinter grenade about fifty feet away from him.

They had sent an evac team and had helicoptered him out of Sofia. His chances were good, just a whole lot of scrapes and broken bones, but the doctors had decided it would be best to put him in a coma to help is body heal.

That's when Eggsy had noticed something wasn't right with Harry.

The change is subtle, nothing dramatic. First it's the tension that never seems to leave Harry's body entirely even he's asleep. He would even turn away from Eggsy, pull out of the tight curl of his arms without offering to be the little spoon, and that's something that just doesn't happen.

After that, it’s his growing temper. Harry doesn’t shout, he never really does, but his comebacks are snappier than usual, skirting even more along the lines of being outright rude.

Eggsy lets it go because he knows how heavy the mantle of being Arthur weighs on Harry’s shoulders. That is, until about ten days after Lamorak’s mission one of his outbursts is aimed at Eggsy.

The breath hitches in Eggsy’s throat when he hears the words “stupid boy” coming from Harry’s lips and for a split-second, there’s tears burning in his eyes. It’s an off-handed comment, he knows that much, but it strikes something inside of Eggsy. He pushes it away because he’s not going to cry in front of other senior agents.

Instead, he stays behind once the meeting is dismissed, trying his best to not appear as if he’s sulking. 

“Say what you have to say, I am quite busy.” There’s that tone in Harry’s voice, the one that has proven to rub Eggsy in a very wrong way.

“You’re being a prick.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re being a prick, Sir.”

At first Harry all but glowers at him but his features soften when Eggsy meets his gaze stoically. “Would you mind elaborating?”

“Ever since Lamorak got blown up, you’ve been acting like an arse. Now, I get that it’s a terrible accident, something that shouldn’t have happened, and it’s been touch and go with him but he’s doing better now. So there’s no reason being a prick to the rest of us. Because it’s not our bloody fault.” He falls quite for a second, his eyes dropping down to some spot on the table top. “Sure isn’t mine.”

Harry looks at him for a long while, long enough for Eggsy to start feeling uncomfortable instead of the intended other way around. “I apologize,” he then says simply.

“Don’t apologize. Talk to me.”

Harry nods slowly, his entire posture tensing. “I’d prefer we talked about this at home.”

Eggsy shrugs, holding on to his defiance as much as he can. It’s a tough task since that look on Harry’s face is almost impossible to bear. “Fine by me.”

“Very well then. I will see you at home, then.”

Eggsy lingers a little before he finally gets up. “I'll get us some take-out, yeah?” 

“Something Italian for me, please.” 

“Sure. Later, then.” 

The conversation is stilted and leaves a weird taste in Eggsy's mouth as he exits the conference room.

 

*

 

Eggsy goes about his day as usual. He heads to HQ to do some research on an upcoming mission which ends in a sparring match with Roxy who has him in a headlock in no time. 

“You're head's not in the game, Unwin,” she says as she releases him and he drops to the floor like a wet towel. 

“Sorry, Rox. I got… I had a bit of a quarrel with Harry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

He shrugs. “Not a lot to talk about. He's been a right arse ever since the incident with Lamorak. And you heard what he said at the meeting.” 

Roxy sits down next to him. “I'm sure he didn't mean that.” 

“He didn't. I know that. Still hurts, though, coming from him. Now we're having a talk when we're at home. Don't know I feel about that.”

“Is it a talk or a Talk?” She makes air quotes around the last word. 

“I don't know. I mean, we didn't fight or anything. It's just making me nervous, is all. What if… “

“You'll stop right there.” Roxy holds up a hand. “No ‘what ifs’. I won't have that coming from you. You love Harry and he loves you, yeah?” 

Eggsy nods. 

“Nothing has happened to change that. Nothing that’s happened has anything to do with the both of you. It was neither your fault nor Harry's.”

“I know that but…” 

“I get that Harry feels responsible being our Arthur but there's no way he can foresee everything that might happen. What happened happened and we'll learn from that.” 

Eggsy bumps his shoulder into her’s. “Maybe you should go talk to Harry instead of me.”

Roxy beams at him. “You'll probably have sex after so… thanks but no.”

He matches her expression. “Likely, yeah. You'd enjoy that, though.” 

“But Harry wouldn't, would he?” 

“Maybe if I watched…” 

She punches him on the arm. “You leave me out of your orgy, thank you.”

Eggsy grins at her. “You have no idea what you're missing out on.” 

“As far as you know…” She pulls a face of mock-shock. 

“Thanks, Rox.” Eggsy sobers. “You're a true mate.”

“Yes, I am. And you and Harry will be fine.” 

 

*

“Eggsy, do you need a hand?” Harry asks as Eggsy juggles a pizza box and a take-out container through the door. 

“No, got it. Just keep JB away from me, will ya?” 

Harry scoops up the eager dog and lets Eggsy jostle their food onto the dining table. With an exhausted sigh, Eggsy plops down on one of the chairs. 

“You're a spy who saved the world single-handedly but getting dinner has you winded?” There's an amused smile on Harry's face, one that Eggsy has missed in the last few days. 

“Sparring with Roxy has me winded. This is downright killing me.” 

Harry breaches the gap between them and plants a long kiss to Eggsy's mouth. “Welcome home, my love.” 

“What was that for?” Eggsy eyes him suspiciously. 

“For putting up with me when I'm not on my best behaviour.” 

“A snog won't get you of talking to me. No matter how good it was. I want to know what's going on.”

Harry nods. “Of course. Shall we talk over dinner?” 

“Only if I can eat straight from the box.” 

“This once.” 

They both know it's a lie. Harry has already given up on making Eggsy eat takeaway pizza from a plate. He himself gets a plate for his pasta while Eggsy washes up and retrieves two glasses for the wine. He on his end had given up on convincing Harry to have a beer with Italian food. 

Eggsy gets a quarter of his pizza down before Harry speaks again. 

“I'm very sorry, Eggsy. I didn't mean to take my mood out on you.” 

Eggsy drops the piece of crust back into the box. “I know that. I want to know why you are in that mood.” 

“Because of Lamorak.” Harry puts down his fork. “Because of what happened to him.” 

“Which wasn't your fault. You couldn't have seen that coming.” 

“But I should have. As Arthur, it is my responsibility, my duty to protect my agents.”

Eggsy huffs. “If you want to protect us whenever we're out in the field, you need to come with us to every mission. You think that's going to work?” 

“Don't be ridiculous.”

“Harry, I understand that you blame yourself for what happened but that's some faulty logic you got there. Because then you'd also have to blame Merlin as Lamorak's handler. You'd have to blame Percival for preparing the mission with him. You'd even have to blame Rox and me because we sparred with him. Neither of us saw that bomb coming. It just happened.” Eggsy reaches out a hand but Harry withdraws his. 

“It shouldn't have.” 

Eggsy looks at him for a long moment as he begins to understand. “You want to feel guilty, don’t you? You know that you’re not but you want to.”

“That’s not…” The blush on Harry’s cheeks gives him away.

“Was it the same with my d…”

“Don’t,” Harry interrupts. “Please.”

This time Eggsy does manage to reach for Harry’s arm, holding on to him. “Harry, that wasn’t your fault either. It was my dad’s decision, not yours.”

“I know that.” Harry sounds small. “That is, rationally I know that. Unfortunately, my emotions are trying to convince me otherwise.”

“What did you do back then? Is there anything I can do to… help you snap out of it?”

Harry doesn’t reply right away. “When your father died… after I went to see your mother, I went to Merlin.”

Eggsy’s mouth goes dry. He can’t really remember that day, it’s only a vague memory now, one that’s been rekindled by Harry a few times since they’ve met.

“I believe he has told you what we… what I ask him to do sometimes?”

Eggsy nods. “He said he… disciplines you.”

“He does.” Harry looks at a particularly interesting noodle on his plate. “When we were in Havana, Merlin bought a belt. It wasn’t intended the way it came into use later but… it became some sort of a tradition after that. Wherever we would go, we’d look for a new one. Sometimes I’d bring him one from one of my trips, too. When we realized that we both had these… desires, they became a nice and somewhat sentimental prop.”

“So after you left me the medallion, you went to Merlin to let him belt you?” A shiver runs down Eggsy’s spine and he can’t quite say if it’s good or bad.

“I did, yes. It was… it was the hardest I ever asked him to go. I couldn’t sit properly for days, couldn’t sleep on my back either.”

Eggsy remains quiet for a long time. “Is it the pain? Because Merlin said for him it wasn’t.”

Harry covers Eggsy’s hand with his, squeezing down gently. “It’s not. At least not in the way that it gives me pleasure. It has happened sometimes but it’s not my primary incentive.”

“What is it, then?” 

“It is about the pain and yet it's not. It's a punishment but it's also cathartic in a way. I can't quite describe it but it loosens something inside me, puts my head back on right. It's more of a psychological aspect than a physical one, if that makes sense.”

Eggsy shrugs. “Can't say it does, to be honest. Maybe I've been beaten one too many times to understand why you would let him do that to you. Ask him even.” 

“I understand that.”

“But…” Eggsy holds up a hand. “If it does something for you…” 

“It does, yes.”

“Do you want it again?” 

Harry seems to ponder that but Eggsy suspect he already knows. “Only if you'd be alright with it.” 

Eggsy nods. He's expected an answer like that. And yet he doesn't have a reply ready. 

“It's quite alright if you say no,” Harry interject. “I understand how… difficult this must be for you.”

“Little bit, yeah. I might have to think about it.” 

Harry sighs a little relieved sigh. “Of course.”

“Let's finish dinner before it gets cold.”

They continue to eat in silence. Eggsy’s pizza has gone half cold already and even though Harry’s pasta can’t be in a better state, neither of them complains about it. It’s a weird silence, awkward and even a little uncomfortable, something that Eggsy isn’t used to with Harry. Usually, they can talk about everything and anything. With their line of work, no topic seems too out there. But now… 

Now Eggsy can’t shake off the mental images Harry’s confessions have conjured up. Harry, younger than he is now and even a little less worn, bent over and naked, his backside covered in welts and bruises. Merlin is there, too, although Eggsy can’t quite image him some twenty odd years ago. He’s holding a belt, whipping Harry within an inch of his composure.

A trickle of arousal rains down his spine at the idea and he feels his cock twitch in response. It’s an odd sensation, he shouldn’t be turned on by this. 

“I still have some work to do,” Harry interrupts his musings before Eggsy can delve further into them. 

“No worries, I’ll clean up here,” Eggsy replies almost mechanically, catching his bearings. 

“Thank you, my love. Would you join me when you’re done here?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Harry gets up and leans into Eggsy to press a kiss to his forehead.

Left to his own devices, Eggsy busies himself with the dishes. Or dish because he tosses the box with the rest of his pizza before rinsing off Harry’s plate. He pours himself another glass of wine but only takes a sip of it. He wants to keep a clear head for this, for the decision he has to make. 

If he is entirely honest with himself, he has already made it. It’s inevitable, really. He’s already come to this conclusion as soon as Harry had opened up to him. 

So he takes his glass and the bottle and walks up to the office. 

“Can I come in?” he asks tentatively.

Harry looks up from his paperwork. “Of course. Please, take a seat.” He motions for the chair opposite his desk. 

“I’d rather stand. May I speak freely?”

“Are you alright? I know I rather sprang a lot on you. I’d understand if this is overwhelming.”

“I want you to do it.” Eggsy is startled by how eager he sounds.

Harry looks at him for a long moment. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am. I mean, it is a lot but… “

“Eggsy…”

“Let me finish, please.” Eggsy holds up a hand. “What I mean to say is… you always tell me to talk to you about what I like and don’t like. And now you told me about something that you… like, if that’s the right word for it. But just because it’s something that I can’t… get into, shouldn’t keep you from having it. Merlin can give it to you, so you should have it.”

“My love, what you’re offering…”

“Is what you need, isn't it? What you want?”

Harry nods. “It is.” 

“Then you should do it. I told you this before...what we do… I love it. I love how it makes me feel, that I get to please you. But you taught me not to do things just to please you if I didn't get anything from it other than knowing you liked it. This might be one of these things.” Eggsy hesitates for a moment. “You know Dean beat me. He did that just for sport, he didn't need a reason. So I can't give you what you need. But I won't stand in the way of you getting… help from someone who can give it to you, either. Especially not when it's Merlin.”

“May I speak now?” The hint of a smile plays around Harry's lips. 

“Sure, yeah. Sorry about that rant.” 

“That's quite alright. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, my love. I know this must be difficult for you.” 

Eggsy shrugs. “Not really. I want you to be happy. ”

“Thank you, my darling. Your understanding means a lot to me.” 

“I do have one condition, though.” Eggsy lets him stew on that for a moment. “I want to watch.”

Harry regards him quietly. “We'll have to talk to Merlin but it would be an honor to me.” 

Eggsy snorts. “An honor getting your arse whipped in front of me? You're peculiar, Harry Hart.” 

“Would it be bold to assume that you love that about me?”

“Bold, yes. Wrong, no.” Eggsy sobers for a second. “I do love you. A lot. Kind of the point of this, isn’t it?”

Harry holds out a hand. “Would you come here, please? Sit.” He motions for the edge of his desk. 

Eggsy does, leaning against the furniture. 

“I haven't properly apologized to you for my behaviour, have I?” 

Eggsy shrugs. He knows where this going and so does his cock, but he lets Harry work for it. “No need. As long as you promise me you'll talk to me if something like this happens again. This communication thing works both ways, you know.”

“I promise.” 

“I'll accept your apology then.” To emphasize his point, he pulls down the zipper of pants. 

Harry grins deviously at him before he goes to work. He has Eggsy come down his throat in a matter of minutes. 

 

*

“Are you sure about it?” Merlin eyes him as Eggsy proposes his plan. 

“I am, yes. If it's okay with you I'd like to watch your… scene? Session?” He's standing behind Merlin in his lab, watching the man type away on one of the computers. 

“I prefer session, yes. Does Harry agree?”

“He does, yeah. He told me to ask you first.”

“I see.” Merlin turns around to him. “I believe we need to talk about this in private. We've never had an audience before and there's a few things we should discuss first.”

“Okay, yeah. Sure.” Eggsy hesitates. “Like what?” 

“Like… consent, hierarchy, basic behavior …”

“Oh, okay.” He hadn’t seen that coming.

“Eggsy, please don't take this the wrong way. I appreciate that you encouraged Harry to come see me for this. Even more so that you want to watch us. But you must understand that this is a very private and intimate situation between Harry and me. I need to make sure that certain… rules are followed. It’s a matter of safety for all parties. I hope you can understand that.”

“I do, Sir.” 

“Very good. I’ll be expecting you and Harry at my place on Friday night then. 8 o’clock.”

“So you won’t actually expect us before 8:45?” Eggsy winks at Merlin.

Merlin rolls his eyes. “You’ve been with him for too long.”

 

*

“So did you have the Talk?” Roxy does the air quote again as they round mansion on their second lap.

“We did. It’ll be fine.” Eggsy sprints past her for a few paces before turning around, jogging backwards to face her. “Harry feels guilty for what happened in Sofia, that’s all. We’ll sort it out.”

“We?”

“Yeah, Merlin’s helping getting Harry’s head back on right.”

Roxy snorts unladylike. “Is this one of your kinky sexcapades again?”

“Maybe.” Eggsy teases, beaming at her.

“You know… whatever it is that you do… it does you good.” 

Eggsy stops and Roxy almost bumps into him. “You think?”

“Yeah. You got this… glow.” Roxy puts her hands on his hips, trying to catch her breath.

“I’m not pregnant, Rox. I’m… “

She holds up a hand to cut him off.. “No details, please. At least not until we’re having drinks. Lots and lots of drinks.”

 

*

“You’re early,” Merlin greets them at the door. It’s 8:30.

“This will never get old for you, am I correct?” Harry shoots back as they are lead into the living room.

“Obviously not. Sit down, please. I’ll put the kettle on for later.”

“Should I…” Eggsy gestures to the floor by Harry's feet.

“For now it should be okay for you to sit with me.” Harry sits on the large sofa and pets the stop next to him. 

While Harry lounges back, Eggsy only sits down on the very edge. He doesn’t bother trying to hide that he’s nervous and has been all day. He knows it’s ridiculous, that he’ll only be playing a small part today, but it’s nothing that has ever crossed his mind before and he can’t help the awkward tension that makes him antsy. 

Merlin returns and sits down in the armchair. “I’m glad you decided to come here, Harry. I appreciate it.”

“Well, if it hadn’t been for our boy here, I don’t think I would have.” Harry puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“I didn’t do nothing. Just told you that I… want you to have what you need.” Eggsy lowers his gaze, heat rising into his cheeks. 

“And he’ll have that, Eggsy. We’ll see to that. But first I’d like to talk about a few things with you.” Merlin leans back in his armchair, crossing his legs. “As I’ve told you, we’ve never had an audience before.”

“If you don’t want me to…” Eggsy starts but Harry’s fingers dig into his shoulders.

“I want you there.”

“If we proceed to do this,” Merlin continues as if the other two men haven’t spoken at all, “we need to establish a hierarchy. Eggsy, you are calling Harry Sir. And while we don’t usually use titles, I am a Sir to Harry as well. So for the sake of making things clear between us, I’d like you to address me as Master while we’re in this session. Would that be alright with you?”

Eggsy’s cock twitches in response before his tongue or brain can catch up. “Yes, Master.”

“Very good. I like the sound of that.” Merlin smiles at him, genuinely pleased. “Now, I need you to understand that me and Harry have.. a routine. A ritual, if you wish. Something to prepare the both of us for what we’re about to do.”

“Can you make that sound less ominous?” Eggsy looks between the two men, trying to not get overwhelmed just yet.

“I'm afraid not. Harry, would you tell Eggsy how we proceed?”

Harry sits up a little straighter. “Usually, I take a shower, get cleaned up, try to relax. Merlin puts out tea for me. And we decide on the details. Where we do it. What tools are used.”

“Sounds like high tea with benefits.” 

Harry smirks at that. “In a way, it is. The ritual of it, the rules… It’s what makes it safe.”

“For both of us,” Merlin adds. “With Eggsy here, I'd like to adjust a few things, though. While you take your shower, Harry , I'd like to show him the Loft .”

Eggsy hears the capital L in Merlin's voice. “That's your... playroom?” 

“It is. I suggest we do it there tonight.” Merlin casts a questioning glance at Harry. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

Eggsy's cock hardens at Harry's use of the title. 

“Good. I will show you around, Eggsy, and if you have any questions, I will answer them. Once the session starts, I'd like you to remain quiet unless you're spoken to directly. Can you do that?” Merlin sets the cup down and leans forward in his seat. 

“Yes, Master.” 

“I will also check in with you. If the session gets too much for you, if you need to leave, use your safeword.”

“Understood.” 

“Good. Harry?” 

“Understood.” 

“Then do go on, please. I'll set out your robe. Join us upstairs when you're ready.” 

Harry rises, leaving a kiss to Eggsy's forehead on the way. “Thank you, my love.”

“You're coming with me, please,” Merlin orders when Harry is gone. He leads the way upstairs where he retrieves a navy blue robe from the linen closet. He hands it to Eggsy. “Put this on my bed.”

Eggsy does so, hearing the water running in the en suite. He lays the robe out, the belt undone so that Harry can slip right into it. 

“Is that his personal robe?” Eggsy asks as they walk upstairs. 

“Yes. At first he was wearing mine but at some point, he needed his own. Especially when we stayed in the entire weekend.”

“You mean when you fucked all weekend.” Eggsy knows he probably shouldn't have said that. 

“On occasion , yes. Harry is an exceptional fuck,” Merlin replies nonchalantly. 

“Now, you can't say something like that. ‘s not fair,” Eggsy protests. 

“Does it arouse you? The two of us?” Merlin stops in front of the door to what must be the converted loft of the house. 

It's actually more of a third floor but who is Eggsy to argue semantics. There's a cushioned bench next to the door where Merlin sits down. 

“Is that a trick question? ‘f course it does.” Eggsy pauses for a moment. “Are you going to…. I mean, do you have sex after?” He hates how stilted the words come. He should able to say this. 

“After a session like this? Never. While there have been occasions when we did the morning after, this isn't sexual for either of us. Not in the strictest sense.” 

“I don't understand.”

Merlin motions for the spot next to him. “Sit with me before we go inside.” 

Eggsy sits down, unconsciously slipping into a rigid posture as if he's standing at attention. 

“There's different reasons to engage in a spanking. Roleplay, for one,” Merlin starts. 

“Like a headmaster and pupil thing?” 

“Exactly. There's some overlap with getting aroused by spanking. And of course, spanking can be used as punishment. The lines are quite blurred there and it would depend on the parties involved to classify it.”

Eggsy nods. “Right. One could get of on it when it's the punishment in a role play. Makes sense. So why do you do it?” 

“I told you I'm no sadist. It doesn't arouse me to see Harry in pain,” Merlin continues. “I believe you could call it a therapeutic spanking. That kind of physical… stimulation can release emotions that are otherwise held back.”

“Like when Harry’s on this guilt trip?”

“Exactly. He knows he’s not at fault but he can’t let it go.”

Eggsy lets out a long breath. “So in the end it’s like punishment for bad behaviour.”

“There’s quite a few grey areas here, that’s true.”

Eggsy’s shoulder ticks up. “I just don’t get it. Asking to be beaten…”

Merlin puts a hand on his shoulder. “I understand how this must be difficult to grasp. But please believe me when I say that I would never hurt Harry for the sake of hurting him. It’s never about violence or sport. But like I said before, if it gets too intense, I understand if you want to leave.”

Eggsy mulls over that for a moment. He has agreed to this and he still wants it but that doesn’t mean he fully understands the appeal. “Okay,” he says finally, nodding more for himself than for Merlin. 

“Good. Let’s go inside.” Merlin rises. “Please take of your shoes and belt. I’d like you take care of Harry afterwards and it’ll be best if you don’t have any sharp objects on you.”

“Other than my rapier wit?” Eggsy grins.

Merlin quirks a brow at him. “You’re not expecting an answer, do you?”

Eggsy stands up straight. “No, Master.”

“Didn’t think so. I actually prefer if whoever is the submissive to be naked once inside. You as our guest can remain clothed.” With a little dramatic flurry, Merlin opens the door to the Loft and lets Eggsy step inside.

The room is… nothing like Eggsy has expected. 

He has expected black patent leather, stainless steel and chains all over the place but there’s no such thing. Well, there is stainless steel and there are a few chains but the room itself it… cozy. The floor is covered with a deep burgundy carpet, the color obviously unforgiving of any stains that might happen in there, but the fabric feels soft and plush underneath Eggsy’s feet, almost like it has some extra padding. 

The centerpiece of the room is a large four-poster bed, the frame made of sturdy wood, a set of o-rings bolted into each poster. Eggsy’s mind flashes back to the first time Harry has tied him up and how something like that might happen here again. 

Against one wall, a man-sized St Andrew's cross draws Eggsy's attention. It's also build from heavy wooden planks but it's lined with leather to prevent the user from chafing or splinters. It's also adorned with various loops and rings and a padded shackle at each end. 

“Harry looks beautiful on this.” Merlin steps up close to Eggsy, his voice entirely too close to Eggsy's ear. 

“What did you do to him?” Eggsy's mouth feels a bit dry.

“Nothing. He ran his mouth during a session and I tied him up as a time-out. He came just from me watching him.” 

“You're shitting me.” 

Merlin huffs a laugh. “Certainly not.”

“Impressive.” 

“It was. Hasn't happened since, though.”

Eggsy nods. “If these walls could talk, huh?” 

“They wouldn't tell you as much as you assume. All this does look rather sophisticated, I admit that, but it hasn't been in use as often as you'd think. It's merely a means to keep this part of lives separate. Being able to close a door on it sometimes makes it easier to get into the headspace.”

“Any other story, then?” Eggsy motions around the room. “That's the infamous sling Harry mentioned?”

He walks over to where the leather seat is bolted to the ceiling. It's of way better quality than the one Eggsy had found himself in in Vienna. 

“It is. You would have looked stunning in it.” 

“Thanks. Maybe some other time.” 

Eggsy continues his tour of the Loft. Along the opposite wall a set of two heavy duty armoires probably hides a plethora of tools, toys and props. There's a group of sturdy wooden chairs, two regular sized and one build for a preschooler. And finally to his left stands a plush leather couch and armchair, matching the carpet in color, facing a spanking bench. It's also padded with leather, a thick cushion on top, thinner lining for the arm and knee rests. 

“Sorta reminds me of my time in gymnastics.” Eggsy runs a hand over the smooth material.

“Would you like to give it a try?” Merlin has caught on to Eggsy's curious gaze. 

Eggsy looks at him for a moment, then drapes himself across the leather cushion. It’s a little too high for him, so he puts one knees up on the rest to get into position. It’s actually not too bad, more comfortable than it appears on first glance. And yet even clothed, he feels exposed, his arse sticking out, his arms and legs virtually useless. He flinches helplessly when a hand gently trails down his spine.

“That’s a sight to behold,” Merlin says in appreciation. 

“No funny stuff, yeah.” Eggsy slithers from between his touch and the bench, suddenly strangely alert. He knows neither Merlin nor Harry would ever harm him, his reaction more of a reflex.

“Never, be sure of that,” Merlin reassures him. 

“I am, it’s just…”

“I understand. Please be assured that neither of us will lay a hand on you. And should you ever ask for it for whatever reason, we will take care of you.”

Eggsy breeches the distance between them again, pressing a long kiss to Merlin’s mouth.

“Thank you,” he says as they pull apart. “For explaining things to me without… I appreciate it.”

Merlin smiles at him. “And I appreciate any questions you have because it means you want to learn. Learn about these things in general but mostly about yourself and about Harry. And also me.”

“You really have those speeches down, don’t you?”

“Comes with the job description.”

A knock on the door interrupts them. 

“Wait a moment, please,” Merlin calls out, then he turns back to Eggsy. “Are you ready?”

Eggsy straightens. “Yes, Master.”

“Good. As I said, as soon as Harry joins us, you’ll mostly be a spectator. You’ll sit down on the sofa so you’ll be able to watch but you won’t engage. And you won’t talk unless I check in with you. This is extremely intimate so please refrain from touching yourself in case you should get aroused.”

“Understood.”

“Then please let Harry in now.”

Eggsy inclines his head in a short nod, then goes to open the door.

Harry stands before him, looking softer he usually does. In the soft, blue robe and with his hair unruly, smelling of shampoo he looks rather like ‘Sunday morning with breakfast in bed’ than ‘Friday night about to get his arse spanked’. 

“Come in, please.” Eggsy makes an inviting gesture and steps aside. 

“Thank you, my love. You already got a tour?” 

“Yes, Sir. It was… interesting,” Eggsy says, tongue in cheek. 

“Hopefully we'll be able to play here together soon.”

Eggsy's cock twitches. “Yes, Sir,” he puts his body's reaction into words. 

“Well, then…, ” Merlin interrupts, “shall we begin?” 

“Yes,” Harry says in time with Eggsy's: “Yes, Master.” 

“Eggsy, please stand over here.” Merlin motions for him stand behind him. “Harry, step up to me, please.”

Both men follow the order. From his position Eggsy is able to look Harry in the face, to see the soft expression on his face, tired and a little worn, as if the shower had washed away the composure and bravado. 

“Why are you here, Harry?” Merlin asks, straightening the lapels of Harry's robe. 

“Because of what happened to my agent. I put him danger and he got hurt.” 

“Is there anything you could have done to prevent this from happening?”

Harry lowers his gaze for a moment. “I should have protected him.”

“You personally? Are you personally responsible for what happened to him?” 

“No.” 

“And yet you feel guilty about it.”

“Yes.”

Merlin looks at him for a long moment. “Harry, we've had this discussion before. You're not at fault. You did all you could have done. You have no reason to feel guilty. And you know that.”

Again, Harry averts Merlin's eyes until the other mkes him look up again. “I do.” 

“But…?”

“I want to feel guilty.”

“I know. And you know that I don't like this kind of self-destructive behaviour. Especially when it's someone I deeply care about.”

“I know. I know I shouldn't blame myself but I can't help myself. I'm sorry.” 

“You needn't be.” Merlin leans into him and presses a kiss to Harry's cheeks. “It's going to be twenty lashes today. Will you take that?”

Harry nods. “Yes.” 

“Given the special circumstances I will not use a belt today. Those are for when we are alone,” Merlin continues. “Eggsy, please get me something from the left armoire.”

Eggsy flinches. He hadn't expected Merlin to speak to him, he had been so enamored by their conversation. “Yes, Master.”

He steps to the heavy closet. When he opens it, the breath hitches in his throat. The armoire is filled with all sorts of gear and tools; a variety of canes and crops dangling from hook on the inside of the door, bundles of rope on the top shelf, a selection of floggers and other implements for impact play, a range of shackles and a spreader bar leaning against the back wall. 

He is hard in an instant. 

“The cane with the red handle, please, Eggsy,” Merlin instructs. 

He finds the required tool, a black lacquered cane with a red leather handle, and takes it of its hook. 

“There you go, Master.” He holds it out to Merlin. 

“Thank you, but, please hold it out for me. Open palms.”

Eggsy does as he's told, presenting the cane as if on a silver platter. 

“Harry, take off your robe now and get into position.” 

Harry steps out of his robe and hands it to Merlin. 

“You're hard,” Merlin comments, as he takes in Harry's naked body. “That hasn't happened before.” He looks between Harry and Eggsy. “Is it because we have an audience? Because Eggsy is seeing you like this?” 

“Yes,” Harry replies calmly. 

“Then let us show him how beautiful and brave you are for me. Assume the position, please.” 

Harry drapes himself across the spanking bench. With his height, he can have his feet on the floor and lay down almost comfortably on the cushion. 

“Eggsy, hand Harry the can. He'll hold it while I warm him up.” Merlin drapes the robe over the armchair, then unbuttons his cuffs and rolls up his shirt sleeves. 

Eggsy places the cane on Harry's outstretched hands. 

“Now sit down, please. And remember what I told you.” 

Eggsy nods dutifully. “Yes, Master.” 

He sits on the couch, his knees spread to give his erection some room. From this position he can see Harry in sort of a half-profile, his arse turned toward him but he can also take a good look at his face. 

“It'll be five strikes on each side with my bare hand to warm you up. You will count them out for me. Is that clear?”

“Yes.” 

“Don't drop the cane or I'll have to start over.” 

Harry nods, shifting a little in his position to make sure he can hold the cane horizontal. 

“Let me hear your safeword.” 

“Pickles.” 

“Use it if when you have to. Let's begin.” 

The first strike on Harry's right cheek startles Eggsy. Having been on the receiving end of an open-handed slap uncountable times, he has never realized how loud that sound is. 

“One.” Harry sounds as surprised as Eggsy feels. 

“Count them loud and clear so Eggsy can hear,” Merlin says as he deals the second strike, this one aimed at the left cheek. 

“Two.” 

“Very good.”

Merlin continues to strike and Harry continues to count. It almost has a rhythm to it, Merlin's well-times slaps, Harry's response, the short refractory period before the next smack. 

With each strike the skin of Harry's arse becomes more and more red; a pinkish hue at first, then a deep blush, now it's turning bright red. Eggsy can make out Merlin's handprints, his palm and the lines of his fingers, an indication of how hard he's going. 

When Harry counts ‘ten’ Merlin steps back, sweat beating at his temples. 

“Thank you, Harry. That was very good.” 

“Thank you.” Harry's voice is more ragged now. 

“How are you feeling?” Merlin runs a hand over the small of Harry's back.

“Good. Go on, please.”

Merlin tsks him. “Not for you to decide, my love. Eggsy, how are you?” 

Eggsy jerks upright. “Yes, Master.”

“I asked you how you were doing.”

“I’m… I’m good. It’s… new, that’s all.”

“Do you need to leave?”

“No, please continue.”

Merlin gestures for him to rise. “Please take the cane from Harry and give it to me.”

Eggsy all but leaps to his feet. “Yes, Master.” 

Harry doesn't look at him as he rounds the bench to take the cane. In fact, he has his eyes closed and there's the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips. 

Eggsy wants to reach out and touch Harry but he refrains from it. He hasn't asked Merlin if he's allowed and he isn't sure if Harry would want it. 

So he just takes the rattan cane but Harry doesn't lower his hands. 

“Master....” Eggsy dutifully hands the tool over. 

“Thank you. Please stay with me for a moment.” Merlin flexed the cane in his hand, running it along his palm and through his fingertips. “You always want to make sure there are no splinters on your tools. So always check before you use them.” 

“Understood.” Eggsy nods. 

“Harry, please protect yourself.”

Eggsy watches as Harry swifts and reaches between his legs to tuck his cock and balls back between his thighs . He closes his legs then lays back down, hands around front of the cushion. 

“You also need to watch where you strike,” Merlin continues. “The fleshy part of the arse is best.” He runs the very tip of the cane along the curve of Harry's buttcheeks, drawing a moan and a shiver. “The top of thighs also works quite well. Shoulder blades can be quite cruel, as are the soles of one's feet. But you are never to hit someone across a joint or in the small of their back. You'll immediately break their skin and cause even worse damage. Am I understood?”

Eggsy licks his lips. “Yes, Master. Don't think I could do this but… it's noted.”

“You can never know when such knowledge might come in handy. Please sit down now.” 

Eggsy returns to his seat. There's an anxious tingle running through him, the anticipation of what he's about to see. 

He's an outsider looking in on this intimate scenario and yet he's part of it, part of it is even for him. And yet, once he sits down, he almost sees a physical bubble close around the two men, enclosing them, shielding them from the outside. 

Harry still has his eyes closed, waiting for Merlin's next order. Merlin himself has his brows furrowed in concentration, taking a few deep breaths before he gets into the proper position. 

“Harry, you will have twenty lashes today. Please tell me why?”

“As punishment for my self-destructive thoughts.” Harry sounds surprisingly clear. 

“I need you to let go of them. What happened was not your fault.” 

“Yes.” 

“Twenty lashes. You'll count them for Eggsy and me. Can you do that for us?” 

Eggsy shifts to the edge of his seat, suddenly very alert. 

“Yes, I can. I'm ready.” 

“Then let's begin.”

Merlin places the cane against Harry’s skin, letting him feel the smooth material, before he deals the first lash.

Harry winces, his fists closing on reflex, then he says: “One.”

The next three come in rapid succession, painting red streaks across Harry’s arse. Harry counts them out, his voice quivering ever so slightly. 

The fifth one is harder. Louder, too. It makes Harry yelp but he doesn’t miss the count. 

“You’re doing good, Harry,” Merlin says, his tone so warm as if he’s not standing there spanking his friend and once (maybe again? who knows…) partner into a sweet oblivion. 

“Thank you,” comes Harry’s almost reflexive answer.

“Can I go harder?”

“Yes.”

Six, seven and eight come quickly, almost as a surprise. Harry’s response becomes a bit more sluggish with every strike but he holds on. In fact, even as the pain appears to get worse, the more distant his expression becomes. It’s as if with every lash of the cane across his flesh, he starts to drift a little further away from it. It’s not by any means relaxing, Eggsy knows that first hand, but it’s doing something Harry. Slowly, Eggsy begins to understand...

Nine and ten have Harry go on tiptoes, counting them out through grit teeth. His fingers are now curled around the front legs for the spanking bench, his face pressed tightly against the leather cushion. 

“You’re halfway there, Harry. You’re doing so well. Will you take the rest as well?” Merlin asks after the tenth strike. 

“Yes. Yes, please,” comes Harry wobbly answer.

Eggsy flinches at eleven in time with Harry, the sound of the lash impossibly loud. Twelve and thirteen are no better, the strikes drawing crimson welts on Harry’s no longer pale skin. There’s already a spot on the swell of his arse cheek where his flesh starts to bruise into purple. 

Eggsy can almost feel the sting himself. He has never been caned but he’s had his fair share of slaps and punches to know the feeling. This is probably more of a sharp pain the dull ache of bruised cheekbone or a broken arm but seeing Harry’s body tense with every strike resonates with Eggsy.

They make it to fifteen before Harry starts to openly sob, tears pooling in the corner of his eye before running down his nose. He’s shifting and squirming as best as he can without overtly trying to get out of the position. He clings to the bench, trying to breath through the pain.

“Only five more, Harry. Can you take them?” Merlin places the cane against Harry’s arse again, applying a light pressure. 

“Yes.” The word sounds bubbly, soaked in tears. “Yes.”

“I know you will. You’re doing so wonderfully. I’m proud of you.”

Harry licks his lips. “Thank you. Please… can I have more?”

“Of course, my love. Just five more. They’ll hurt but you’ll take them. Are you ready?”

Harry lets out a long breath, almost groaning impatiently. “Yes, I am.”

Sixteen and seventeen are hard and fast, driving Harry into the bench and into the cushion. His legs starts to shake and he has to fight to keep himself on his feet.

Eighteen draws a pained little yelp from Harry before he count it out, his hands aimless trying to find a better grip as a counter-balance.

Merlin takes his time with nineteen. He shifts a little to one side, making sure he will only hit one arse cheek instead of across both. When he strikes, Harry screams. It’s not loud but it’s there and so intimate that it almost makes Eggsy burst into tears. 

He knows Harry wanted this and still wants this. He can understand the juxtaposition between something obviously uncomfortable and absolutely loving it at the same time.

Merlin shifts against, lining the cane up with Harry’s other arse cheek.

Harry is crying, letting the tears flow as they come and yet he sounds remarkably collected as he counts to twenty.

“Thank you, Harry. That was beautiful.”

Harry sniffles a little before he answers. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Please stay like this for me.”

Merlin turns to Eggsy but it takes him speaking Eggsy’s name to draw his attention away from Harry, from the crimson pattern on his skin, the red of his eyes and the strangely content slag of his mouth. 

“Yes, Master,” Eggsy all but stammers. 

“Please come here and take the cane.”

Eggsy stands and as he straightens he notices that he’s still hard. It’s ridiculous, really, how hasn’t paid attention to it until just now. 

Merlin hands him the cane. “Place in Harry’s hands again.”

Harry’s hands are shaking when Eggsy places the cane into his palms again.

“There’s a bottle of aloe in the armoire. Please get it for me,” Merlin instructs. 

Eggsy does as he’s told and retrieve the ointment. 

“I want you to do the aftercare, Eggsy.”

Eggsy nods. “What do I need to do?”

“Spread this over the welts. Be very gentle and go slow so you won’t hurt Harry.”

Eggsy does as he’s told, squirting a dollop of ointment into his palm before he starts spreading it over Harry’s arse. Harry hisses at the first contact of the cool gel against his skin and gooseflesh erupts up his spine. 

“Is this okay, Harry?” Eggsy asks carefully.

“Yes, it is… keep going.”

Eggsy concentrates on his task, taking care of Harry’s bruises. He distributes the aloe on Harry’s skin, making very sure he gets every red streak and blooming bruise. It’s soothing in a way, probably more so for him than for Harry who winces every now and then. 

“I think that’s quite enough now.” Merlin puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder. “Please take the cane and put it back. Harry, you can get up now. Go slow, you’ve been in this position for a while now.”

Eggsy takes the cane and places it back on its hook in the armoire. When he turns around again, Harry is just about to get upright again, his hands propped on the cushion, straightening his back.

“Can you turn around to me?” Merlin asks him and Eggsy steps back a little, giving the two men some space. 

Harry turns on the spot to face Merlin. He reaches up quickly to brush a stray tear from his cheek.

“How are you feeling?” 

A slow smile tugs on the corner of Harry’s mouth and he ducks his head. “Sore. But good.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve done this. And you’ve taken it so beautifully. I’m very grateful that you let me give this to you.” He leans into Harry to place a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, my love.”

“Thank you.” Harry steps closer to Merlin, not quite initiating a touch. “Thank you for not holding back.”

“I knew you could take it. And I knew you needed it.”

“I also need my tea now.” Harry’s smile turns into a bit of a smirk.

“Of course. Eggsy, would you take care of Harry, please?” Merlin reaches out a hand to Eggsy, beckoning him to step into his position. “I’ll be right back. Eggsy, do you need anything, too?”

“No, I’m… I’m good. Thank you.”

When Merlin has left the Loft, Harry pulls Eggsy into a hug. Eggsy almost stumbles against him but catches himself before he can knock them both over. 

“I love you, Eggsy.” Harry’s voice is very close to his eyes and sends a shiver down Eggsy’s spine. “Thank you, my dear. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Did it help?” Eggsy looks up at him and he already knows the answer. The tension is gone from Harry’s posture, the strain gone from his eyes.

“It did. I know it’s hard to explain and even harder to understand but…”

Eggsy goes on tiptoes and presses a long kiss to Harry’s mouth, adding a little tongue before they pull apart. “I might not get it but… it’s what you need so…”

“I don’t deserve you, my dear boy.”

“Yeah, you do.” Eggsy feels heat rush into his cheeks. “I love you. And I love what we have, what we’re doing… it’s… special and… and ours, you know?”

“I understand you perfectly, love.” 

“So… how does this work, then. Do you just… go to bed or…”

Harry cards his fingers through Eggsy’s hair which is more soothing than it should be. “Usually. Sometimes I stayed here, sometimes I went home.”

“Can we stay?” The words are out of Eggsy’s mouth before we can process them. 

“You can stay in the guest room.” Merlin has reappeared in the door, carrying a steaming mug of tea. 

“Bless you.” Harry accepts the drink. “I rather not sit in a cab tonight.”

“Understandably. You will be quite sore for a while.”

“And only the two of you will know why I won’t sit down at the next staff meeting.” Harry kisses first Merlin’s cheek then Eggsy’s mouth before he takes a sip from his tea.

“Go to bed, you old sap, before you drop. And take this boy with you to take care of you.” Merlin doesn’t make it sound like the outright order but the two men follow it anyway.

Eggsy helps Harry back into his robe before they walk downstairs. Harry’s free hand is a constant presence in the small of Eggsy’s back and he doesn’t let go until they reach the door. 

“Can you wait for me for a sec? There’s something I need to tell Merlin real quick.” Eggsy looks anxiously at Harry, knowing from experience how a drop can creep up on a person.

“Yes, of course.”

Eggsy turns to Merlin once Harry has closed the door behind him. “I just wanted to say… thank you. For letting me watch. That was…”

“I understand, Eggsy. I’m glad you stayed through it all. It was very important to Harry, too. Being able to show you this side of him.”

“It was weird… seeing him as… the sub. But… it also made something clear for me.”

“And that would be…”

Eggsy pauses, suddenly anxious to voice his decision… “Should… should I ever need… something like that… like as punishment or whatever…. I want you to do it.”

Merlin looks at him for a long moment, then he smiles slowly. “And I would honored to do it.”

“Thanks. Anyway… I better take care of Harry now. Thank you, Merlin.”

“You’re welcome. And have a good night.”

Eggsy dashes in for a quick kiss before he disappears into the guest room.

Harry stands by the window, quietly sipping his tea. He turns around when Eggsy enters. “What was that about?”

“Aren’t you curious….” Eggsy grins at him then sobers a little. “I just told him that I’d be okay with... him spanking me.”

Harry cocks his head, eyeing him. “Did you now.”

“Yes. He’s… he’s quite good at it, isn’t he? I mean… a lot of people can whip a cane around but… the way he talked to you… guided you…. I liked that.”

Harry steps up to him then, not quite touching him. “Let’s go to bed, my love.” Eggsy reaches for the hem of his shirt but Harry puts a hand on his. “Let me.”

Harry puts the half-empty mug on the bedside table before he himself reaches for Eggsy’s shirt. He undresses him slowly, deliberately, as if unwrapping a precious gift. Eggsy’s shirt goes first, then his belt before he starts unbuttoning his fly. The breath hitches in Eggsy’s throat when Harry’s hand closes around his cock. 

“Don’t,” Eggsy whispers along a groan. 

“I’m sure Merlin won’t mind.”

“That’s not… let’s just go to sleep, yeah?”

“As you wish.” Harry withdraws his hand and gets down to one knee and tugs Eggsy’s pants down his legs, taking his underpants with it. Eggsy hold on to Harry’s shoulder as he helps him step out of his clothes.

They turn down the bed and Eggsy crawls under the covers. Harry eyes the bed hesitantly before he eventually gets on all fours on the mattress. 

“Does it hurt a lot?” Eggsy asks before almost slapping himself for the question. “I mean.. .of course, it does, but…”

“It’s part of it. Not the most pleasant one, of course, but it will be alright.”

Eggsy lays down, fluffing the pillow up underneath his head. He holds out a hand, beckoning Harry to lay down next to him, offering himself as a pillow. 

Harry maneuvers himself against him, his head on Eggsy's shoulder. He drapes an arm over Eggsy's stomach, letting his fingers play across his skin. 

“Do you…,” Eggsy licks his lips, “have you ever dropped after?” 

“Sometimes. More often after the first couple of times. Even when I didn't I did prefer not to be alone.” Harry lets his hand slide down, tracing the dip of Eggsy's hipbone. “May I ask you something?” 

“Always. Anything.”

“Did you get aroused?”

Eggsy knows Harry already knows the answer. He is sure Harry felt the slick at the very tip of his cock while undressing him just as much as he feels it now that he's wrapped his hand around Eggsy's shaft again.

“Yeah, a lot.”

“You didn't do anything about it.” Harry strokes him slowly, rekindling the simmering fire. 

Eggsy shivers, his cock betraying his resolve. “Merlin told me not. And I… Christ , I can't believe I'm saying this but… please, don't. Tonight's not about me.”

Teasingly slow Harry withdraws his hand. “So it wasn’t stange for you, seeing me like that?”

Eggsy thinks about that for a long moment. “A little, yeah. I mean… that’s usually my part, isn’t it? The submissive. And now seeing you do it… that’s… it takes some getting used to… I mean anything like that is a bit strange but… yeah. I liked it, though. You had this… this expression on your face when he caned you… I’ve never seen you like that. It was like… like bliss.”

“Yes, you might say that.”

“That's why I couldn't… Wouldn't've been right, you know. Even without Merlin's order.” Eggsy runs a finger along Harry's arm. 

Harry hums in content and remains quite for a long time before he speaks again. “Eggsy, what we are, what we do… nothing will come between that. Even if there's things we can only get from someone else.”

Eggsy cranes his neck to look Harry in the face. "I know that now. This is just… extra, yeah?”

“Quite extra.” Harry presses a kiss to Eggsy's chest. “Will you let me suck you off before breakfast?” 

“Of course. But you gotta let us sleep first.”

“Yes, Sir. 

Eggsy's cock twitches at that. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just takes a moment to thank each and everyone of you who has ever bothered to read this series, leave kudos or even a comment. It absolutely makes my day. I never meant this to become a series but here we are now... If it wasn't for all of you, I wouldn't be having so much fun writing it. So thank you for sticking with me through this :)
> 
> Come say say on [tumblr](http://tastymoves.tumblr.com).


End file.
